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Funny Newspaper Headlines
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These are REAL headlines from REAL newspapers!  Most of these are phrases that mean one thing but sound like another!
 
I got these hilarious headlines from tons of websites, so if you see that some of these are yours, just post it, and i would love to add your name and site!

Deer Kill 17,000

New Vaccine To Contain Rabies

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

President of Company says "Stud Tires Out"

Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire

Bridge Held Up By Red Tape

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told

British Left Waffles on Falklands

Schwarzenegger Wins on Budget, but More Lies Ahead

New Vaccine May Contain AIDS

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Hospitals Sued By Seven Foot Doctors

Expert Says Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash

Bank Drive-in Window Blocked By Board

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One

Supreme Court Rules that Murderers shall not be electrocuted twice for the same Crime

Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

House Passes Gas Tax Onto Senate

Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan

Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung

William Kelly Was Fed Secretary

Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water

Farmer Bill Dies in House

Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped

Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Panda Mating Fails - Veterinarian Takes Over

NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach

Child's Stool Great for Use in Garden

Dr. Ruth to Talk About Sex With Newspaper Editors

Organ Festival Ends in Smashing Climax

Eye Drops Off Shelf

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

Dealers Will Hear Car Talk at Noon

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests

Miners Refuse to Work After Death

Two Soviet Ships Collide - One Dies

Two Sisters Reunite After Eighteen Years at Checkout Counter

Never Withhold Herpes From Loved One

Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy

Drunk Drivers Paid $1,000 in 1984

Autos Killing 110 a Day, Let's Resolve to do Better

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly it May Last a While

War Dims Hope for Peace

Smokers are Productive, but Death Cuts Efficiency

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Child's Death Ruins Couple's Holiday

Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years

Man is Fatally Slain

Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling of Isolation

  • Deer Kill 17,000
  • New Vaccine To Contain Rabies
  • Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
  • President of Company says "Stud Tires Out"
  • Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire
  • Bridge Held Up By Red Tape
  • Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
  • Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe ToldBritish Left Waffles on Falklands
  • Schwarzenegger Wins on Budget, but More Lies Ahead
  • New Vaccine May Contain AIDS
  • Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
  • Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
  • Hospitals Sued By Seven Foot Doctors
  • Expert Says Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash
  • Bank Drive-in Window Blocked By Board
  • Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
  • Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
  • Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in On
  • Supreme Court Rules that Murderers shall not be electrocuted twice for the same Crime
  • Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing
  • Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
  • House Passes Gas Tax Onto Senate
  • Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan
  • Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
  • William Kelly Was Fed Secretary
  • Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder
  • Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
  • Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water
  • Farmer Bill Dies in House
  • Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
  • Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?
  • Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
  • Panda Mating Fails - Veterinarian Takes Over
  • NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach
  • Child's Stool Great for Use in Garden
  • Dr. Ruth to Talk About Sex With Newspaper Editors
  • Organ Festival Ends in Smashing Climax
  • Eye Drops Off Shelf
  • Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
  • Dealers Will Hear Car Talk at Noon
  • Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
  • Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests
  • Miners Refuse to Work After Death
  • Two Soviet Ships Collide - One Dies
  • Two Sisters Reunite After Eighteen Years at Checkout Counter
  • Never Withhold Herpes From Loved One
  • Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy
  • Drunk Drivers Paid $1,000 in 1984
  • Autos Killing 110 a Day, Let's Resolve to do Better
  • If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly it May Last a While
  • War Dims Hope for Peace
  • Smokers are Productive, but Death Cuts Efficiency
  • Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
  • Child's Death Ruins Couple's Holiday
  • Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years
  • Man is Fatally Slain
  • Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling of Isolation

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